Brother Bear

One and one half starts

What a dissapointment. Especially after hearing folks tell me it was suprisingly good. This film was weak from the opening titles. It was the type of watered down scripting that we typically see in direct to video sequals. The charecters are not endearing, the plot is not compelling and the humor is thin as paper. There was not even a major point of interest to cite as worthwhile.

The other side of the film is that it's not bad. The dialouge doesn't make you cringe, you don't see any glaring miscues in the annimation and the music, while blan and regurgitated, is not annoying or aggrivating.

Man On Fire

Two Stars
Denzel Washington

Denzel makes watching this mediocre film worthwhile as he has this effect on so many movies. This was really supposed to be two films I figure, and either one could have been played out better on it's own. The plot feels un resolved even after the conclusion. It was a lot of fun to watch Denzel go on his rampage of revenge, even as grisly as it was. It's brought to a screeching halt when the theme from the first half of the movie is resurected at the last minute.

Oh and one last thing, I would like to share a note with all the fancy dancy hollywood directors that might read this review: LEAVE YOUR FLASH CUTTING, QUICK ZOOMING, OUT OF FOCUS HANDI WORK IN FILM SCHOOL! This movie might have gone over better with me if I hadn't gotten a headache trying to watch that busy screen crap. I felt like I was trying to extrapelate essential plot lines thorgh a rain drenched windshield, all the while screaming inside my mind for the windshield washer button.

Starsky & Hutch

Two and One half stars
Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and... Snoop Dog?

Whatever else you gleam from this review, remember this: This movie tickled a funny bone that has laid dormant for far to long. I laughed out loud at so many parts of this movie. I lacked an appreciation for some of the finer points of the movie as the TV series it is based on came before my time, and if there ever were reruns in syndication I was never of an age where they seemed interesting. But that was so easy to set aside in this movie that I never felt like I missed an inside joke.

It has the feeling of a Ben Stiller comedy (aka, Zoolander, etc.) and that sarcastic, synical stab bodes well for this classic TV resurection. It wasn't free of over the top cheesy jokes and really, really dumb bonus features and the dialoge was so bad in many places it made me feel like I was really watching the old TV seriers. I suppose this was supposed to set a climate but dragged up the mind numbing feelings that come from watching TV in the era. The other thing that bugged me in that vein were the visualy painful recreations the period costumes.

Finally, I have never seen the original Huggy Bear to make a comparison, but I found Snoop Dog to embody the role with grace and realisim. He was hillarious to watch and seeing him in those costumes was like watching an art show!

Big Fish

Two Stars
Ewan McGregor

I could not for the life of me figure out why I watched this movie. Nor could I find anything that I had gained for seeing it. It's intriguing, and quite bright and sunny for a Tim Burton movie. But in the end left me feeling like I had been run in ciricles by the reeling sting of "big fish tales" that make up the heart of the film. Some of these stories were quaint, some cute, some funny, some moving and some bizzare. In the, end I felt like I had been pulled in as many directions without an anchor to hold it all in one place.

Danny DeVito plays a roll that I loved watching in this movie. It's not a large roll, but it's a piece of eye candy and let's DeVito spread his wings and streatch his talent. If you can make more sense of this film than me, you'll probably find it heartwarming and sentimental. If you do, then you can take my mild recomendation all the way to the bank.

Mean Girls

Two and one half stars
Lindsay Lohan, Tina Fey

This film could have been much more if Lorne Michales had kept his nose out of it. Michales, producer of 'Kids In The Hall' 'Saturday Night Live' and each and every movie spin off of charecters and sketches made popular by the late night sketch comedy showcase, has a singular and almost juvenile sense of humor that has kept me in stiches through many movies and hours of late night comedy. However, Mean Girls had a heart and mind that no willy nilly Waynes World or Super Star ever had. I'm told there's a lot of truth behind the humor in Mean Girls and that expose of social structure is as intriguing as is joy that comes from laughing at that expose.

Tina Fey steps up big time in this, her first film after leaving SNL. She anchors the show without playing a major roll and steals most every scene she is in. It was sucide to let the directors draw her into cheesball antics which were not funny, detracted from the story and poisoned the integrity of her charecter. Interestingly enough, Fey takes the sole screenplay credit for the film.

I could not have been more greatful that Tim Meadows played a minor roll. Tim Meadows is a talent less hack who by luck stepped into the parabolic chamber that is SNL. In this film he is extremly aggrivating and poorly cast as the principal of the school. He is still the same charecter as in every other film he's garnered and offers only lude comments with a passionless performance. Again, I wish Lorne had kept his influene out of this movie with regard to Meadows. Too many SNL alumni are in this film altogether for that matter as so few of them have the talent to rise above high school comedy routines.

All in all, this film has a lot of heart, a story line that's fun to follow and some great humor, just pretend "Tommy Boy" antics were pasted in by some vandal.

Cold Mountain

One half star
Nicole Kidman, Jude Law, Rene Zellwieger

This movie was not only a dissapointment, it was revolting. I held out hope that it would be a moving drama, but move is the last thing this film was going to do.

Cold Mountain is above all else tedious. It's only a little more than two hours but drags at such a pace that I was sure I had taken in at least three hours of movie watching. I admire Jude Law but find him very miscast in Cold Mountain, and Nicole Kidman and Rene Zelwieger had no business trying to pull off ladies of the South either.

After examining every minute detail of the travails of life in Civil War torn confederate states, we are exposed to images of depravity and disgust that do a disservice to the goal they were created for: illuminating the dark unknown problems of the Civil War. Instead of opening my eyes a la Private Ryan, I felt assaulted by images of female anatomy, extreme torture, rape, farm filth and pestilace.

I would usually say that the best way to end a drama is in tragedy, but after watching two hours of a depressing downer of a movie, I was floored by the tragic conclusion of the drawn out antcipation that we follow ad nasuium through the entire film. The few moments of worthwhile humor or pleasantires are drown in the muck of a cluttered plot and the miriad of other downfalls I have innumerated here. I would recomend this film to no one!

To Sir, With Love

Two and one half stars
Sidney Poitier

This film, renown for a tour de force performance by Sidney Poitier, has long been on my list of classics to take in. I was not dissapointed as Poitier does demonstrate why he is held to such acclaim and why these breakthrough roles moved audiences and producers alike.

This is a very sixty's film though and I was unprepared for the influnce the decade would have on it's style and decorum. It can be somewhat distracting as filmakers stuggle to truly capture the "rowdy teens" without seeming mismanaged. Also, I couldn't help but laugh when "Lulu" and a band play in the film. I thought to myslef "I'm sure that band went on to interantional fame and fortune after being seen in a movie."

If you can leave behind the sense of presentism and take "To Sir" in context, you'll appreciate Mr. Poitier and roll this film played in Hollywood and the social scene of the time.

The Bourne Supremecy

Three Stars
Matt Damon

Many have touted this film to be superior to it's original "The Bourne Identity." I however find that to be somewhat ambiguous. In some ways it is a better. The miraculous Bourne escapes are faster and more dazzling, there's more sneak and spy with less confusion. What this sequel lacks is the strong plot and motivations that drove the first film. It seems that Jason Bourne moves about incapacitating rivals and spying on the CIA without really having a reason to be doing so. Granted, he is given reasons for these practices in the script, but it seems that the action sequences were shot and then explanation scenes were added before and after to give the film cohesiveness.

There were other distractions that led me like the sequel less than the first film. Foremost among them was the tired and overused employment of flash cuts during actions scenes. These have always been dizzying to me and lead me to believe that the director is trying to compensate for poor principal shooting with fancy editing. Furthermore, waaaay to much time is spent inside CIA. Part of the appeal of "Bourne Identity" was the rouge nature of Jason's actions. We spend far to much time in the burocracy of the agency.