Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Two Stars
Will Farrell, Christina Applegate

The best way to describe Anchorman is "It's a Will Farrell movie." Not his funniest work, but there's some great jokes here. a lot of worthless plot lines and bloated dialoge milk the jokes to exhaustion and the cameos are so plentiful they cease to be quaint and funny.

I have been told that when it come to life in a news room there is a grain of truth to every scene in this film and that's where the true fun and hunmor of this movie lies. Each time they leave the studio, it's just not that funny anymore.

Troy

Two and One Half Stars
Brad Bitt, Orlando Bloom

This might be more a matter of missed expectations than anything else, but this movie was not what I had hoped. In fact, the only reason I rate it as highly as I do is becasue I like Brad Pitt movies, and he's fun to watch in this film. His character's not terribly impressive but that seems to be this case with the rest of the movie as well.

It's based on the works of Homer, specifically "The Iliad". Which starts out somewhat implauseable and over the top. The screenplay however is overbaked and takes the implausabilites of the ancient Greek text and turns them into inexplicable oversights.

THX 1138

Two and One Half Stars
Robert Duvall

Since learning of Geoge Lucas' directorial debut "THX 1138" in high school, I have wanted to see it. It has not been until the advent of DVD's and the subsuquent popularity of "Special Editions" that this has been possible. Now that I have taken in this film, trying to describe it is almost insurmountable.

To call it "Orwellean" is an understatement. THX 1138 encompases the themes of evey story from "1984" to "Fahrenhiet 451" and everything in between. Lucas himself describes it as a "documentary from the future." Adapting his award winning USC student film, THX 1138 - 4EB, George Lucas directs his first feature film under the auspices of Francis Copolla and "American Zopetrope." He creates a tale of an unspecifed time in the future when the economy and efficency dominate the world motivations and the populaitons of the earth have moved underground. Controlled by mandatory drug use, the peoples of the earth are assigned partners, jobs and are policed by androids.

This film is at once fascinating to watch and incredibly boaring. I give it extra credit for it's historical context (a Lucas and American Zopetrope first) however, and watching Robert Duvall was never more fun that it is in this film. I have never seen him so young on film! I've always appreciated his talent, but in this film, he is the reason to keep watching. Visually, he is stunning. His brow appears chiseled, it's flat across the top of eyes and angles sharply upward at the outside (a feture you don't notice when he has hair) giving him an other-worldly quality. He captures you attention with an expression and holds your interest as you try to interpret what his character is thinking.

If you decide to tackle "THX 1138" I would recomend getting the newly released Special Edition from Warner Brothers with an accompanying disc of bonus material. The explanatoins that Luscas offers help to clear the fog on the more confusing aspects of the movie. And for those who have taken in the "Making of an Empire" bonus featurette on the "Star Wars Trilogy" DVD release: There is a fascinating look deep into the history of "American Zopetrope" and U.S. Movie Studios in the 70's which the Star Wars featurette touches on breifly.

Hero

Three and One Half Stars
Jet Li

I have never been a big fan of Jet Li or Kung Fu movies, nor have I been a follower of Asian cinema altogether. However I will admit to being drawn in by the recent popularity of movies with plots about ancient China and the mythical powers of ancient warriors and the mind blowing wire stunts they perform. "Hero" is a fabulous foray inro that genre and leaves little to be desired.

The visual power of this film is off the charts. It feels as if every frame is carefully composed to dictate a feeling and character though color and light. The actors (with one exception) project incredible feeling even without a word or dialouge. Perhaps the most outstading featrue of the film comes from the the mind blowing conclusion that caps the twists and turns of the previous two hours.

As far as saving that last half star only one thing needed to be done: remove the sex! It was completly inexplicable to me that in center of this eye poping drama and action, this skin and sensuality is forced like screeching metal into the smooth wood grain of the film. The only other failing of the movie is that Jet Li seems to lack the acting prowess of his co-stars. Yimou Zhang uses this to his advantage and incorporates the cold blank stare into the character so we aren't left hollow by the performance.

Ocean's Twelve

One Star
Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Carl Reiner, Matt Damon

From "The Simpsons" immortal "Comic Book Store Guy" I draw these monumental words "Worst sequal ever!" Sheesh, what an incredible dissapointment. It seemes like the reviews from main stream media critics were gushing with praise compared to how I feel about this film, and I haven't heard any of them say that they liked it.

Let us evaluate first of all the overall look and feel of the movie. I was annoyed throughout the film to see the director try to be hip like the first movie, just hip in a cool 2004 kind of way. With incredibly bizzare cinematography from time to time including inverted, tilted, and right angled camera angles and a 60's-esqe flash pause I was ready to scream over the headache mounting tone of this film. "I don't know who they got to direct this..." I kept saying to myself, "... but they better send them back to Sundance till they can learn to dicrect a real movie." When the closing titles ran, who should be the first credit to pass my eyes? "Directed by: STEPHEN FREAKIN SODERBERGH!" I think I screamed a little and proabably caught a few people attention when I voiced my support of the explaination "Well that explains it."

After that small diatribe I don't know that I need to press onward, but I feel inclined to protect you from this case of bad cinema. so well press on to the bloated scipt. This movie ran two hours and nine minutes and felt like three at least. I was sure I had come to the conclusion no fewer than four times and was convinced we needed an ending no less than three. This movie was like an energizer bunny, but it was instead, an energizer hemeroid.

Lastly I'll roll all the other things I didn't like about this movie into one section. The costume designer had no sense, though probably did a good job communicating with the director. Catherine Zeta Jones was a wasted role, Julia Roberts playing Julia Roberts was not only an overblown idea but also drawn out too long especially with Bruce Willis hanging on every word. That sequence was far beyond beliveable or plauseable and enjoyable was gone after the idea had first floated. For the last, I want to tell all Hollywood sreenwriters, producers, directors and coreographers: I never want to see another scene where someone navigates a laser beam detection grid by wrote memorization, practiced dance moves or ANY OTHER METHOD!

I would like to end with one note of priase for Matt Damon. He seems to be the only person on the cast who can actualy portray a charater that he doesn't play in every other movie. This is very refreshing in it's self and the sole reason this movie got any stars at all.

Raising Helen

Two Stars
Kate Hudson, John Corbett, Joan Cusak

This film, directed by Gary Marshall, is, simply put, too juvenile for it's audience. From the opening scenes it has the feeling of teen movies like Marshalls (far more charming) Princess Diaries. We are led by our hands through the life of the characters. As the film progresses, our independent adult thought is challenged every step of the way by the diluted ignorant ramblings and misgivings of our title charater and lastly we are left with an incredibly quick and overly simplistic resolution to our issues.

Kate Hudson is directed into a hole and is not convincing as a modeling mogul or a mock-up mother. Corbett has lines written by a high school english lit student and is as convincing a Lutheran minister as I am a convincing astronaut.

Lastly the incomparable Joan Cusak is wasted wallowing in agonizingly idiotic dialogue and plot concepts with but a few exceptions where that brash and bold Cusak talent is allowed to shine. This script should have been re-written before principal shooting, they should have gotten Gary's sister Penny to direct, and not relied on editing to turn this "Lizzie McGuire" of a movie into a "Young And The Restless" without getting lost in between.