Ocean's Twelve

One Star
Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Carl Reiner, Matt Damon

From "The Simpsons" immortal "Comic Book Store Guy" I draw these monumental words "Worst sequal ever!" Sheesh, what an incredible dissapointment. It seemes like the reviews from main stream media critics were gushing with praise compared to how I feel about this film, and I haven't heard any of them say that they liked it.

Let us evaluate first of all the overall look and feel of the movie. I was annoyed throughout the film to see the director try to be hip like the first movie, just hip in a cool 2004 kind of way. With incredibly bizzare cinematography from time to time including inverted, tilted, and right angled camera angles and a 60's-esqe flash pause I was ready to scream over the headache mounting tone of this film. "I don't know who they got to direct this..." I kept saying to myself, "... but they better send them back to Sundance till they can learn to dicrect a real movie." When the closing titles ran, who should be the first credit to pass my eyes? "Directed by: STEPHEN FREAKIN SODERBERGH!" I think I screamed a little and proabably caught a few people attention when I voiced my support of the explaination "Well that explains it."

After that small diatribe I don't know that I need to press onward, but I feel inclined to protect you from this case of bad cinema. so well press on to the bloated scipt. This movie ran two hours and nine minutes and felt like three at least. I was sure I had come to the conclusion no fewer than four times and was convinced we needed an ending no less than three. This movie was like an energizer bunny, but it was instead, an energizer hemeroid.

Lastly I'll roll all the other things I didn't like about this movie into one section. The costume designer had no sense, though probably did a good job communicating with the director. Catherine Zeta Jones was a wasted role, Julia Roberts playing Julia Roberts was not only an overblown idea but also drawn out too long especially with Bruce Willis hanging on every word. That sequence was far beyond beliveable or plauseable and enjoyable was gone after the idea had first floated. For the last, I want to tell all Hollywood sreenwriters, producers, directors and coreographers: I never want to see another scene where someone navigates a laser beam detection grid by wrote memorization, practiced dance moves or ANY OTHER METHOD!

I would like to end with one note of priase for Matt Damon. He seems to be the only person on the cast who can actualy portray a charater that he doesn't play in every other movie. This is very refreshing in it's self and the sole reason this movie got any stars at all.